


heaven taking the place of something evil

by elixirsoflife



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus is the Guy, And Somehow There's A Bit of Angst?, Community: HPFT, Crack Treated Seriously, Gryffindor Rose Weasley, Guy Thinks He's Homophobic but is Actually Gay, Happy ending though, Harry Potter Next Generation, Humour, M/M, Misunderstandings, Scorbus, Slytherin Albus Severus Potter, Slytherin Scorpius Malfoy, other characters mentioned in passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 10:13:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15241146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elixirsoflife/pseuds/elixirsoflife
Summary: He wasn't angry that Scorpius was kissing other boys; he was angry that Scorpius wasn't kissinghim.Or: Al isn't the sharpest wand in the shop. Especially when it comes to Scorpius Malfoy.





	heaven taking the place of something evil

**Author's Note:**

> cr. title taken from the song 'cherry' by lana del rey
> 
> written for the prefects' celebration challenge on hpft. prompt chosen: #3 (something related to pride month)
> 
> this is honestly a mess and you probably should save yourself from reading it fyi. is based on an article titled "STRAIGHT GUY WORRIES HE'S BEING HOMOPHOBIC TO GAY ROOMMATE, REALISES HE'S FALLEN IN LOVE WITH HIM."

**heaven taking the place of something evil**

 

"I think I'm homophobic."  
  
The announcement was brief and abrupt. It left Rose reeling and she stared blankly at her cousin for the longest minute. "You what," she said at last, voice flatter than a sub-Saharan plain.  
  
With a groan, Al let his head fall onto his forearms in shame and despair. "Don't make me say it again." The sleeves of his school robes muffled his reluctant mumbles. "I said... I think I'm homophobic."  
  
Again, Rose stared.  
  
"Al," she finally said, words slow in bewilderment. "You  _do_ realise you're currently sitting with one half of an openly lesbian couple who are very much in love. I highly doubt that you're homophobic."  
  
"Am too," he insisted, even as he grimaced at such a thought.  
  
"Al. You literally sent Octavian Nott to the infirmary for taking the piss out of me when I came out two years ago. Twice. You  _knocked him out_ with a Bludger even though he's on your own team and you're a bloody Seeker. What part of that is homophobic?"  
  
It was at this point that Al, in a manner very unlike him, began to wail, "That's why I'm so distressed by it. You don't understand, it knocks me sick that I'm like this. I thought I was - I was  _above this_. I'm disgusting! I  _disgust_  myself!"  
  
"First of all, shut the fuck up, we're literally in a library," said Rose, shooting a wary glance towards the end of the aisle. Thankfully, their librarian, a menacing wizard by the name of Gulshan who took no small joy in flushing the area of students, failed to swoop down upon them like the deadliest of Dementors. They were safe - for now. "Second of all, you've actually gone mad. In what world are  _you_  homophobic? And in what way?"  
  
Al bit his lip anxiously.   
  
Barely perceptible, he flicked his wand from under the covers of his robes until he was certain that the two could not be overheard. Rose frowned disapprovingly - she'd often rather passionately argued against such spells, citing that they were unethical as they directly interfered with the functions of other people's bodies - but chose not to comment this time around.  
  
"Don't hate me," he said plaintively.  
  
"Too late for that. I've hated you ever since you broke the head off my Witchy Wanda doll when we were eight."  
  
He glared. "It was an accident," he hissed defensively. "Besides, Wanda was a creep anyways. Her eyes looked into your very soul and that's some fucking disturbing shit for a doll, alright? Have you never seen a horror movie, you uncultured - okay, that's so not the point, I got off-track there. Sorry. I should've - the point is I was fully justified when it came to Wanda, alright? Moving on."  
  
"Sometime this century, please."  
  
Al ignored Rose's dry tone in favour of taking a deep breath to steel himself. After a moment of gathering strength, he finally explained, "You see, the reason I think I might be -  _you know_... is because - well, because every time I see Scorpius with Montgomery, I feel like I'm about to throw up. And it's just. It's not pleasant at all and it's happened too many times for me to pass it off as, say, indigestion or something. Which only means one thing right? I'm disgusted by the fact that Scorpius is gay."  
  
His cousin opened her mouth to comment, closed it, and then opened it again. No sound left her voice box, not that it particularly mattered anyway. Now that it was finally out, Al couldn't help himself from blabbering on like there was no tomorrow. It was like a dam had broken. Working up the courage to confess his shameful secret to someone caused everything he had been feeling over the past couple of weeks to spill out.  
  
"Like. I always thought I was really accepting, you know? I mean, I'm completely fine with you and Theodosia, even if I tell you to stop snogging in front of me all the time - but that's only because you're my cousin and I really don't need to see you sucking face, you know? And I was so supportive of Teddy when he came out as pan and I'm alright with Louis and his boyfriend so the idea of Scorpius and Montgomery shouldn't bother me, right?  
  
"Except I think I'm one of those homophobes who are all like 'ooh I support the LGBT community' except when it's happening right in front of my face because every time Montgomery's in the dorm and all over Scorpius, I just. I can't deal? Like. My stomach cramps up and I genuinely think I'm going to vomit? Merlin, even picturing it is knocking me sick." His face contorted before melting with distress. He cried, "See! I'm so fucked up! It's only two boys kissing, I don't understand why I'm reacting like this. Merlin, I wanna  _cry_."  
  
Rose blinked.  
  
And then very slowly informed her cousin that he was an idiot.  
  
"I know," Al said miserably. His plump lips jutted out into a pitiful pout. "But I honestly don't know why I'm like this - "  
  
"You're not homophobic, you toad," she cut across him with a roll of her eyes.  
  
"I'm not?"  
  
Rose tossed him an unimpressed look. "Your best friend - me, by the way - is literally the head of the LGBTQA society here at Hogwarts. I currently have rainbow nail varnish on and a badge on my bag that says 'FUCK YOU, I'M GAY' on it. I've spent years sharing my very non-heterosexual thoughts about girls in this school with you. And you're asking me if you're homophobic."  
  
"That's my point, that's why I'm so shocked I feel this way! I didn't think I'd ever be that way!" he said.  
  
Rose groaned, "You are honestly the  _densest_  Slytherin I have ever met."  
  
He merely threw her another distressed look. Grimacing, Rose grabbed one of his hands so he'd stop nervously picking at his cuticles and squeezed, forcing him to meet her eyes. With his teeth still embedded in his lower lip and his eyes so wide and lost, he looked like a fragile, little Bambi.  
  
How sickening.  
  
"You," Rose informed him, "have a big fat crush on Scorpius Malfoy."  
  
Al blinked. "You what."  
  
"Aw, come on! What else is going to explain these feelings? I mean, there's no way you're going to suddenly spring homophobic thoughts around one person, never mind your closest friend outside of the family."  
  
"Yeah but," he said dumbly, "I'm straight. I like tits."  
  
She shrugged. "You can still like them. Fancying the pants off Scorpius doesn't mean you can't like girls too."  
  
But Al was already shaking his head. "I don't have a crush on my best mate."  
  
"Um, I'm your best mate so I should think the fuck not."  
  
"Like I'd know if I was feeling anything romantic towards him. Christ, Rosie, I'm not  _that_  out of touch with my own emotions. Give me some credit, at least."  
  
Unimpressed, Rose pointed out dryly, "So what? All this 'feeling sick' when Scorpius has his tongue down someone else's throat - "  
  
"Please don't," he winced.  
  
"That's exactly what I mean! You know that feeling you have right now? The cringing of your stomach? The bile in your throat?" When he nodded unhappily, she continued, "Yeah, that's jealousy."  
  
"I really don't think it is."  
  
Now fully annoyed, she snapped, "So what? It's all selective homophobia, is it? You've just magically decided to discriminate against your friend's sexuality?"  
  
Visible despair twisted Al's face. Seeming almost close to tears, he cried, "I know, I'm awful!" and promptly collapsed onto the table, overcome with self-disgust and apparently at a loss at how to combat it. His fingers tugged at his hair in frustration.  
  
Rose, on the other hand, wondered what on earth she'd done to be cursed with such stupid cousins. And sighed.

* * *

When Scorpius Malfoy braved his way out of the closet a couple of months ago, it was big news. The eldest Malfoy son,  _gasp,_  preferred men? Had James Potter not have chosen that very morning to somehow let loose a herd of cows in the Great Hall, it probably would've been the most talked about topic that week.  
  
(As it stood, James' transfigured ungulates captured people's attention for the most part, probably because one sent Professor Antonelli flying five feet through the air.)  
  
Of course, Al had assured the subject of attention that he fully supported him and his decision to go public about it. 100%, without a single doubt. Scorpius' sexuality was simply another facet of him; whether it was public or private knowledge, it was a part of his character and Al had once promised to stick by all of him when they were both young and unsure in a house full of shifting politics.   
  
That was before Scorpius decided to snog Damian Montgomery in their dormitory.  
  
It turned out that Al was only fine with Scorpius being gay if he didn't flaunt it in front of him. Which was bloody ridiculous since the other boy had never complained whenever Al had been caught marking up a girl in his bed. No, he'd just laughed and had told them to put a sock on the door next time.  
  
Which meant Scorpius was a much better person than Al.  
  
Which meant Al was a disgusting, worthless, dishonourable piece of shit and a stain on his family name.  
  
Which meant Al hated himself.  
  
But he hated Damian Montgomery more. There was something about his stupid fucking face - truly the smuggest he had ever seen and Al had James as a brother - and his stupid fucking hair and stupid fucking broad shoulders that pissed Al off whenever he happened to spot them. Especially if he spotted them in his dorm.  
  
His hands were the worst of all. Like, no offence to Scorpius and his tastes (that Al apparently violently disagreed with if the unpleasant jolt of his stomach meant anything), but how could the other boy stand to have them on him? They were so - so _skinny_  and knobbly and they probably fucking hurt whenever he wrapped them around Scorpius' waist. Like why would anyone want such a bony hand pressed into their skin when they were supposed to snogging each other? It must've felt somewhat akin to a skeleton indulging in a casual grope.  
  
Also, did Montgomery really need to devour Scorpius like he hadn't just scarfed down two helpings of shephard's pie for tea? Al glared over at the prick in question, his Transfiguration essay only partly completed since he kept getting distracted by the obscene noises the fifth year made. Honestly, this wasn't a fucking B-grade porno for Merlin's sake. He could tone it the fuck down.  
  
More irritated than ever, Al glared at him so hard he nearly burnt a hole in the side of his face.  
  
As if noticing, Scorpius pushed Montgomery away, giggling slightly when the boy chased after his lips. He ducked his head and chastised, "No more, no more. I have an essay to write."  
  
"But I'm so much more interesting," Montgomery murmured in what was clearly supposed to be a seductive manner.  
  
Talk about fucking disgusting.  
  
"He said," Al interrupted coldly, "that he has an essay to write. And so do I, for that matter. So if you don't mind..." He looked pointedly at the door.  
  
The smile slid off Montgomery's face. Judging from the ugly sneer that threatened to mar his boyish features, a part of him clearly wanted to retort with something clever of his own - but the truth was that Al was far more popular and far more powerful than him. Few Slytherins dared to go against someone so established in the school and Montgomery was not one of them.  
  
So he simply muttered something about catching Scorpius later and then slipped away, the door clicking shut behind him.  
  
When he was gone, Scorpius turned to Al. "Is there any reason why you're acting like a Blast-Ended Skrewt crawled up your arse and died?" he asked mildly, reaching for the roll of parchment on his bedside table.  
  
Al scowled. "No."  
  
"Because you were really rather rude to Damian, you know."  
  
Good. Maybe then the tosspot would never return and he could stop feeling so shit about this whole mess.  
  
"Was I?" Al said, though he didn't inflect the words enough to pose them as a question. Try as he might, he couldn't even muster up false regret. "Shame."  
  
Scorpius paused before he could retrieve his quill. Pale eyebrows drawn together, he directed a frown at his best friend. "Um. What's that all about?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I mean," he said, mouth pinched in confusion, "you're being very hostile right now. And I'm not sure why because neither I nor Damian did anything to you. Did something happen today?"  
  
For some inexplicable reason, that set Al on edge.  _Neither I nor Damian._  It was always  _neither I nor Damian_  nowadays, wasn't it? Holding hands, snogging in Scorpius' bed, fucking whispering and giggling to each other late in the evening when they were supposed to be studying. The sight made Al's skin positively crawl with disgust. What kind of friends with benefits even hung out that much?  
  
"No," he bit out. "It's just - I've been trying to write this essay for ages and you keep snogging Montgomery and it's not like you keep quiet either, so. It's fucking distracting and I can't work."  
  
Hurt flashed across stormy eyes. "Well, you could've always just gone to the common room," he began, pink-cheeked and voice higher than usual.  
  
Al cut him off with a sarcastic laugh. "This is  _my_  dormitory, not his. Why should I leave just because Montgomery can't keep it in his fucking pants? Why can't you go in the common room instead if you're so eager to be with him?"  
  
"You know I can't. People would judge and make a fuss every time we so much as held hands or kissed - "  
  
"Well, maybe you shouldn't kiss so damn much, then."  
  
Scorpius broke off with a wounded gasp. This time, the hurt didn't flutter by like the wings of a fairy on the breeze. It lingered, bold and stark against the pale curls of his hair and the frozen set of his fingers. It ran deep in the downwards turn of his mouth.  
  
Shit.  
  
"You're being mean," he said softly. His words were small with insecurity. "I don't - I thought you of all people would understand."  
  
_Shit_.  
  
Fumbling for a path to make it better, Al said, "I. Uh. No, no, I do understand, I do! It's just - it's - it's different when you're with Montgomery, you know? Like. You two are so - physical and it's kind of all up in my face - "  
  
"And? What, so I can be gay as long as I don't actually demonstrate it?" Scorpius said incredulously.  
  
Panicking more than ever, he cried, "No! No, that's not what I'm saying! You're putting words in my mouth, that's not what I meant."  
  
"Then what do you mean, Al? Because it sounds to me like you're bothered by the fact that I'm with other boys in front of you. Like being with them is such a problem for you."  
  
"I mean. It's not that you're with them per se," he said, biting his lip as he sought for words to explain. "It's just. I don't really... feel very comfortable..."  
  
"When I kiss them?" Scorpius concluded flatly. When Al didn't refute it, his jaw set in stone. He glanced away, staring hard at the wall to prevent the tears that had sprung to his eyes from spilling, and then looked back at his friend with cold distance. "You know what, Al? Fuck you."  
  
Something in his heart shattered. "Scorpius, I..."  
  
"I don't want to hear it," he said.  
  
He rose to his feet and walked away.

* * *

Al felt like shit.  
  
Beyond shit, really.  
  
He hadn't talked to Scorpius in days, though it felt more like years, since the boy had taken to avoiding Al at all possible times. Meals were spent with Montgomery and his friends, classes were spent with Seraphina Jorkins, and every amount of free time they had was claimed by either homework or the prat who had dragged them into this entire mess. No matter how fervently Al sent him silent pleas, Scorpius refused to receive them, refused to even look him in the eye.  
  
So Al was miserable.  
  
He couldn't sleep, though he spent most of his free time sulking in bed. He couldn't concentrate which meant he was constantly borrowing notes off Rose even as she promised that this was, in all seriousness, the last time, I mean it, Al. He couldn't even enjoy Quidditch practice.  
  
Just as he was in the throes of his mourning - for it truly seemed like his friendship with Scorpius had crashed, burned and withered away to ashes - Rose found him. Blankets were wrapped around him like a cacoon, the radio crooned soft ballads into the cold dorm, and a huge, indulgent tub of nebula ice cream (now with edible fairy dust!) nestled in his lap.  
  
He was so, so pathetic.  
  
"Wow," Rose said, leaning against his bedpost to analyse him. "You are so, so pathetic."  
  
He squinted at her through swollen, red eyes. Earlier, his roommate, Pollux Warrington, had asked him if he'd been crying; Al had promptly threatened to frame him for a detention if he told anyone he had allergies. They both concluded that the younger Potter suffered from extremely bad hay fever. In late November.  
  
"Scorpius won't talk to me," he whispered, voice cracking.  
  
She sighed, "Well, his best mate did essentially reject who he is as a person."  
  
And then Al started crying.  
  
In a heartbeat, Rose swept forward to pull him into a hug. It had been years since they'd last done so - as time had passed by, they'd naturally settled for ribbing comments and punches to the shoulder instead - but he gladly sunk in, folding into the smaller frame like he was half his size. He had never felt so small in that moment, shaking in his cousin's grasp as everything poured out of him. The ache in his chest expanded to new proportions, pushing into his throat and tumbling from his mouth in pitiful whines.  
  
Nose running, he clung to her with lost, desperate fingers. "I fucked up, Rosie," he sobbed. "I fucked up really bad."  
  
"I know," she murmured, rubbing circles on his back. "I know."  
  
"It - It hurts so much. I feel like... like my heart's in fucking pieces and the pieces are all piercing my lungs, like, like I can barely breathe. And I keep remembering his face when I said I felt uncomfortable around him and Merlin, Rose, he started to cry and I did that to him.  _Me_. I told him I would be there for him no matter what, but  _I_  was the one who hurt him in the end.  
  
"And - and it's all because I couldn't get over myself and just accept the fact that he fucking snogs boys. I mean. He's  _gay_. It's part of the fucking job description. But every time I saw him and Montgomery, it just made me feel so awful and I got so mean and I just - it  _hurt_. And it's still hurting now. And I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix it, or make it better. I don't know how to make it stop."  
  
He didn't know how long he cried it out for, but Rose held him close throughout it. Distantly, he felt a rush of gratitude for his cousin, a realisation of how much he truly loved her. Though they often bickered like there was no tomorrow, she really was his best friend and it showed most in moments like this.  
  
At last, he leaned back, nose pink from tears. The planes of his cheeks were blotchy, sticky with the tracks they left behind. Half-hearted, he wiped at them with trembling fingers and offered Rose an apologetic smile for the damp patch on her shoulder.  
  
"You know why you feel like this, yeah?" she said, returning it with a sympathetic smile of her own.  
  
He swallowed, staring down at his lap where his hands lay, curled into fists. He nodded. "Yeah. I do."  
  
Because losing Scorpius like this, feeling such rage over Montgomery and his stupid fucking face, and wilting under the stress of this argument - it all pointed to one conclusion. He wasn't angry that Scorpius was kissing other boys; he was angry that Scorpius wasn't kissing  _him_.  
  
Now that he thought about it, well and truly thought about it, he'd been in love with the other boy for years.   
  
After all, hadn't he always shared a private thought that the sun didn't shine quite so bright as Scorpius Malfoy when he smiled? And didn't he always search for the glint of golden hair in the stands just before every match as a little good luck ritual? And hadn't he felt his heart stutter in those hazy nights where Scorpius had a bad dream and had slipped into his bed to talk it off, ankles pressed against his own, words a quiet murmur?  
  
"You should probably tell him then," Rose said gently.  
  
Al chewed on his lip. "I'm scared," he confessed.  
  
"Well, of course, you are. So was I before I knew Dosie liked me back. It's pretty nerve-wracking to put your feelings out there when it's not certain if the other person feels the same."  
  
"You're not really convincing me to go ahead and do it."  
  
She rolled her eyes and affectionately flicked him on the forehead. "Listen, idiot," she said over his yelp of pain. "Yeah, it's scary to own up to your feelings to someone, but it's a risk we all have to take. Are you telling me you really want to leave your friendship with Scorpius in this state because you're too scared to admit you fancy him?"  
  
He tried picturing how it might feel to live like this for the next two years at Hogwarts and then shuddered. Even that brief snapshot, just the mere possibility of continuing down this path, was too much to bear.  
  
"No," Al admitted, trying not to grimace too hard. "I feel awful enough as it is, thanks."  
  
Rose grinned. "Then put down the ice cream, get up and go get your man." She glanced down at the shimmering treat in his lap and then snapped her fingers. "On second thoughts, give it to me. That looks lush and I stopped giving a shit about my weight like ten years ago. Now,  _go._ "

* * *

Considering one of his cousins had laid claim to the Map, it wasn't all too difficult to find Scorpius.   
  
(At first, he'd tried to track him down with the trusty aide, but one venture into the Gryffindor common room for it and all he knew was that either Hugo, Lucy or Lily had it in hopes of pranking Professor Longbottom, or James had accidentally spilled mustard onto the Courtyard and was currently attempting to siphon it off without interfering with its complex magic. Hugo swore hands-down that he'd even seen him try to lick it off, only to get an electric shock from all the build-up of energy from the past few decades.)  
  
But yes, it wasn't that hard to find Scorpius at all. It appeared that, when he wasn't attached to Montgomery's mouth, Scorpius had taken to the Great Hall to escape Al's clutches and was in the middle of a thrilling biography about Alexander the Great when he found him.  
  
Footsteps rang quietly against the marble floor as he approached; aside from the slight stiffening of his shoulders, Scorpius gave no sign of acknowledging him.  
  
"Hi," Al said tentatively.  
  
He glanced up, grey eyes bored. "Can I help you?" he asked archly. He hadn't sounded this cold since their first week at Hogwarts.  
  
Al winced. "I suppose I deserve that. Can we talk? Somewhere a bit more private?" His gaze swept around the Great Hall, mindful that it was still relatively crowded even if it wasn't mealtime. If he was going to his heart broken again, he'd prefer it not to be a spectacle.  
  
"No."  
  
Well.  
  
"Okay," he said. "I suppose I deserve that too."  
  
Chewing nervously on the inside of his cheeks, he quickly settled down onto the seat next to Scorpius. A wave of his wand ensured their privacy, though there was nothing to stop the student body from witnessing Scorpius level him with a look so cold he felt his bones transfigure to ice.  
  
"I don't want to talk to you," he said through gritted teeth.  
  
Al's pathetic heart crumbled a little bit more. "I know," he murmured quietly, "and you're fully in the right to want that. But I just want to apologise. And explain."  
  
"Explain what?" Scorpius chuckled lowly. He stared down at the pages of his biography like it had personally wronged him, hands clenched around the edges so tight that the knuckles gleamed white. "It was the biggest decision I ever made in my entire fucking life when I came out. The scariest one I ever made. I knew there'd be backlash, that my parents would get their names dragged through the mud by half of their so-called friends because that's the kind of society I was brought up in. But I did it anyway because I didn't want to lie anymore. I wanted to stand proud and show everyone that this is who I am.  
  
"And you,  _you promised me_  you'd stay with me throughout it all. You told me that everything would be okay, that you'd have my back. You said you accepted me for who I was and like an idiot, I believed you. But you lied."  
  
Al sharply exhaled. "I didn't lie."  
  
" _Bullshit_."  
  
"I didn't," he pleaded. "Honestly."  
  
"You said I made you uncomfortable. What the fuck else does that mean?"  
  
"It means - it means..." He swallowed heavily and stared down at his lap. Somehow, it felt easier to speak to his hands than stare Scorpius in the eye; to direct his words to the ragged nailbeds and raw, pink knuckles and the callouses on his palms. "A few weeks ago, I met Rose and told her I thought I was homophobic."  
  
"Um." A slightly bewildered pause. "I don't see how that's supposed to help your case."  
  
Al ignored it, pushing on. "I told her that I was worried I was homophobic because whenever I saw you and Montgomery together, I felt sick. Like I honest to Merlin couldn't stand the sight of you two because it seemed so wrong to me that-"  
  
"Al, I don't want to hear this."  
  
"No," he said vehemently, finally looking at him. "No, you have to. Because the thing is, I don't - I don't - you know, my godbrother has dated boys," he said abruptly. "And Louis is dating a boy. I've been around them while they're being all loved-up and couple-y and I've been fine. A little thrown off because they're family, but fine.  
  
"It's only with you and Montgomery that I wasn't. That I'm still... not. And when I told Rose that, she told me something I wasn't ready to hear at the time, something I didn't believe, but now. Now you and I haven't spoken in so long and everything... everything about it is so wrong to me and it  _hurts_. It really hurts, Scorpius. Not seeing you around or being with you, it kills me."  
  
Grey bore into green.   
  
Breath still uncertain in his lungs, Al willed himself to express everything he'd ever felt for the other boy in the features of his face. His mouth parted with contentment. His cheeks lifted with adoration and joy. His irises spilled dizzying intensity. Freckles scattered across his face in a constellation that spelled out his name.  
  
_Scorpius_ , his body breathed.  _I was made for you._  
  
The boy drank him in, pupils blown wide as the rigid ice melted away to give rise to something else. Something Al prayed was a little like hope. A little like yearning.  
  
"I hated seeing you with Montgomery," he confessed. "Everything about him pisses me off."  
  
"He's a nice guy."  
  
"I know. And I know you have a good thing going with him," he said, no matter how reluctantly, "but I don't like it. It makes me jealous. Because it turns out that I happen to be in love with you, Scorpius Malfoy, and that I have been for years. And I'm not going to ruin what you have or demand that you drop everything for me, but I don't want - I don't want you to think that I don't accept you for who you are or anything because I do. I do a whole lot more than that, actually."  
  
Scorpius watched him with careful, careful eyes. He whispered, "Al, you can't just say things like that..."  
  
His heart withered away a little more. "I know," he said quietly, unable to look at him for any longer. To his utter frustration, tears threatened to pool in his eyes again. He glared at a pretty pattern on the floor. "I just... I didn't want you to think that I hate you."  
  
There was silence.  
  
And then Scorpius asked, "Do you remember your first Quidditch match? When Shapiro knocked that Bludger into the back of your head and you ended up in the Hospital Wing?"  
  
Despite himself, Al scowled. "How could I forget? Fucking Gryffindor wouldn't leave me alone about it for the rest of the week." Memories of the stupid chant they came up with, courtesy of none other than James, rose unbidden to the forefront of his mind.  
  
"I stayed by your side until you woke up," he said, so softly that Al couldn't help but look at him. Tenderness now tempered his sharp features, leaving him speechless. "Not until I knew you were okay. We were twelve years old, remember?"  
  
He nodded, searching for words he'd forgotten how to use. "I remember," he croaked at last. "It was a week before your birthday."  
  
"And it was the day I realised I was in love with you. Even though you were twelve years old and an absolute midget and you kept biting the skin off your lips. You fell off your Nimbus and I swear to Merlin, my heart stopped. And I knew that you were it for me."  
  
Oh.  
  
_Oh_.  
  
Any chance he had of speaking was promptly blown to pieces. Mute with disbelief, Al could only watch as long, pale fingers reached out to intertwine with olive. Piano hands, he distantly registered. He'd always thought Scorpius had beautiful piano hands.  
  
"What Damian and I have," Scorpius explained patiently, "is comfort. Because we both thought that the idiots we've given our hearts to would never love us back. And we figured we might as well make the best of a bad situation."  
  
Oh.  
  
Al dragged his attention away from their interlocked hands and back up to his face, to his gentle smile. "You're not... in love with him?"  
  
Scorpius shook his head in mild amusement.  
  
"You're in love with me?"  
  
"Stupid, isn't it?" he said with a small laugh. "But yes, I'm in love with you. Even when you're idiotic enough to confuse  _butterflies_  with being bloody  _homophobic_. Honestly, you're so fucking hopeless sometimes."  
  
"Hey! I didn't - no, you know what, that's fair. I deserve that."  
  
"You deserve a lot more than that, you prick. But I'm a nice person and I've literally been waiting for this day for four years, so. I'll forgive you for breaking my heart."  
  
Guiltier than ever, Al frowned in distress. "I'm so sorry," he fretted. "I really didn't mean to hurt you and I'll spend forever trying to make it up to you, I promise. Honestly, I feel terrible."  
  
"Good," Scorpius said and then kissed him.  
  
It wasn't a particularly passionate kiss, nothing like the monstrosities Al had to witness him share with Montgomery. There were no bony hands embedded into waists or loud, wet noises as two mouths moved against each other. Scorpius didn't kiss like he was hungry for every last little bit of himself Al had to offer, though he would gladly give it all to him if he asked. He just... kissed him.  
  
If Al had to describe it on paper, this was how it was: soft and sweet and just a little bit perfect.  
  
Their kiss was of warm fingers interlocked with his own and resting on his lap. It was a mouth pressed firmly against his lips. It was the taste of nebula ice cream and peppermint tea; the gentle nudge of a nose as they adjusted their heads; the quiver of the corner of his mouth before it rose and the two of them kissed smiles into each other.  
  
It was pulling back to beam at one another, stupid and so, so in love.

**Author's Note:**

> lol i hate how this ends. tbh i... actually don't like this very much on the whole, now that i think about it, but the prefects are hosting a wonderful challenge so i figured i might as well go ahead and post it. it's more dialogue-heavy than a lot of my fics and started off somewhat crack-ish before become... god knows what tbh. this is what happens when you write something instead of sleeping. because i have nay slept all night and it's currently half 6 in the evening. plus, i wrote the initial draft on my phone and i freaking hate how my writing turns out there. ew :/
> 
> as always, feel free to comment below. this is my first next gen/non-marauders work in a while so let's see how it goes! (i just realised: have i ever posted my next gen stuff on ao3? i don't think i have wow.)


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